Cryogenic Pacifica

I mentioned the green anole lizard that inhabits my classroom in a prior post.  This lizard has been a pain in the neck, but I think it actually likes me now.  I really never thought reptiles had the capacity to “like” a person – but its eyes no longer look at me with contempt but relief.  I know, it sounds crazy, and maybe it’s all in my head, but whatever.

Anyway, it eats ONLY little feeder crickets (they are icky little things, they eat each other, they attempt to bite the lizard if you don’t feed them, and have no redeeming qualities aside from the fact that they think they are safe inside a paper towel roll, which I find somewhat endearing).  The drunk guy at the pet store has taught me so much more than I ever needed to know about crickets, meal worms, lizards, fish and the like that he should be a professor with a flask in his blazer.

So for the past week I’ve been meaning to drive the half hour round trip to get the dang crickets because nowhere else in that radius sells the dang things.  I gauge when to get the crickets by many things, but one major indicator is if the lizard shows any ribs at all.  I’ve been feeding him a lot, because I feel bad for him, so he’s actually got some meat on his bones.  I’m sure you care about the lizard, right?  LOL.  Keep in mind that I didn’t buy this lizard, I’d never buy a reptile, they deserve to be left in their native habitats.  If I get clearance in April, I may take him to the Carolinas and set him free.  He had a cell mate when I first started at the school.  However, the cell mate was very ill when I got there, and I couldn’t revive it no matter what I did.  I read that if they are sickly that they may come back around with some fruit baby food – whoever wrote that was not correct.  When I came in the next morning after following that advice, the sickly lizard was covered in bananas, and they had dried, and he/she couldn’t open his/her mouth.  Therefore I gave him/her a bath which caused the poor thing to literally have a heart attack (my theory) and the next day it was dead.

SO ANYWAY….I go get the crickets after work on Thursday after asking if anyone lives near the pet store and finding out no one does, and my boss saying she’d get some but she forgot…and I get home and the kids are hungry and the kitchen is a mess and my stomach hurts and laundry needs to be done…I forgot about the crickets in my car.  It got down to like 25 degrees that night.  I came out in the morning, saw the bag of crickets – and due to the fact that they were all feet up, I called myself every name in the book, $4.00 in crickets, dead because I am absent minded.

I am flying down the road trying to get to school on time, and I crank the heat, and decide I’m going to put the bag of crickets on the dashboard and hope for resurrection.  I laugh at myself for hoping this will occur.  As I pass motorists, they look twice at this huge plastic bag of 40 crickets on my dashboard.  It’s how I roll, yo.

Halfway to school, I see movement.  At least 10 of the crickets are hopping around, most likely asking each other what day it is, what year it is, if anyone got eaten in the night.  I’m amazed, and happy that I can feed the lizard something at least.  I get to school, grab the bag, and lo and behold, almost every one of those crickets is alive and jumping.  I kid you not.  So the Pacifica has cryogenic powers.  I knew I loved that car.

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